


Ursula Re-write

by RJ_Smiles



Category: Disney - All Media Types, The Little Mermaid (1989), The Little Mermaid - All Media Types
Genre: Backstory, Costume Parties & Masquerades, F/M, Little Mermaid Elements, Lovers To Enemies, Magic, Non-Canon Relationship, Origin Story, POV Female Character, Re-write, Tentacles, Water, Water Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:55:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22540582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJ_Smiles/pseuds/RJ_Smiles
Summary: The re-make of the Little Mermaid has got me feeling nostalgic! Wanted to re-write Ursula / give her more backstory. She has always fascinated me as a villain because she was so talented and magical. I wanted to also maybe create more of a personal reason she wants to see King Triton defeated: Lovers to enemies. Not a happy ending.****Ursula's mother has been kicked out of the palace. In a series of events Ursula and her childhood friend, Triton, gradually become close again behind their parent's backs.
Relationships: Triton/Ursula (Disney)
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We'll see how far I take this! Feedback would be appreciated.
> 
> This first chapter starts off with a Content Warning: Implied rape /rough bullying/ being ganged-up on.

“Hey tentacles” a boy’s voice shouted from behind her.

“Oh no” Ursula whispered. She whipped around, her long, black hair swirling out around her.

She peered through the gloom but couldn’t see anything past the forest of gently waving kelp. From somewhere to her left a different voice yelled:

“Hey Squidbutt!”

A chorus of giggles echoed through the water. She realizes with a chill that they are all around her. She began swimming backwards slowly.

“Wh-who’s there?” She tried to sound brave, defiant. The kelp whispered back only silence.

She hears a giggle from behind her. Bolting, she tries to swim towards the surface. Before she can get far however, someone yanks her head back, pulling her by the hair.

“Ow! No! Please. Stop!” Ursula cries. Someone else grabs one of her tentacles.

She is pulled into a group of boys. Someone wraps a rope of kelp around her, pinning her arms to the sides. A girl’s voice giggles behind her, gripping her hair tightly, pulling her head back.

“So slow, little tentacles!” The girl whispers maliciously. “Is it because you just suck water?” The boys around them laugh.

“Let me go” she pleads. “My mother---“

“Oh right! Your _mother._ The crazy old hag. What’s she gonna do. Put a curse on me?” The boys laugh harder. They circle her like sharks.

With her other hand the girl behind Ursula traces a fingernail down her cheek, relishing as Ursula squirms.

“The boys are curious you little freak” the girls voice croons into her ear. “They want to know what’s under all those extra legs.”

“No! Please.” Ursula squeezes her eyes tight, trying to block out this nightmare. She can feel rough hands on her arms, around her waist…

“STOP IT!” A voice calls out.

Ursula opens her eyes. The boys back away, frightened and angry. The grip on the back of her hair loosens. Ursula twists free.

“The prince!” someone whispers.

Ursula looks to see Triton swimming towards them. His face is black with anger. 

“Leave her ALONE!” his voice thunders through the water.

The boys flee immediately, darting quickly through the kelp. The girl however, stays.

“Oh hullo Prince.” She purrs. “We were just having a little fun with tentacles here. No harm done right?” She says barring her teeth at Ursula.

“Go away Sabine.” Triton does not take his eyes off of Ursula.

The girl, Sabine, swims towards the prince. “But your highness, she was caught playing with _magic_ and you know that that’s forbidden—“

“I said _leave,_ Sabine.” Triton’s voice is deadly calm. He turns his aquamarine eyes towards the other girl.

Sabine narrows her eyes. “See you around tentacles.” She blows a mock-kiss to Ursula before nonchalantly swimming off.

Triton watches her go. When the last of Sabine’s fins disappear into the forest he turns to Ursula again.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

Ursula, ashamed, afraid and embarrassed, bursts into tears and tries to swim away. They were right however, she _is_ a slow swimmer and soon Triton catches up to her. Without saying anything he grabs her and wraps his strong arms around her. She crumples and sobs into his chest. He reaches up to stroke her hair but his hand comes away with a clump of long silky black strands that had been pulled free. He shakes the loose hairs to float around them in the water and swallows hard, wrapping his arms tighter around her.

“Shhh. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”

*********************************

They had been friends since they were young. Her mother had been the seer and magus of the court. They grew up together, going to diplomacy school, learning combat and pulling pranks around the palace. Ursula was an expert at fitting into tight spaces and Triton could usually get away with anything as the prince, especially when he used those startlingly blue eyes and fluttered his long eyelashes. Their favourite game was to put polyps in unsuspecting places, like the chairs of the ladies of the court. They had also used Ursula’s home-made ink bombs to explode all over a visiting dignitary and once covered the throne in moon-snails.

Everything changed however, when Triton’s mother got sick. King Poseidon had entreated Ursula’s mother to save his sick wife but nothing could be done for the Queen. The whole court was devastated. Ursula watched as the light and laughter died in Triton. They no longer played pranks or laughed or barely even spoke. Triton retreated like a hermit crab into his grief. That would have been the end of a very short and sad tale, until a lady-in-waiting got sick, and then another. Soon, half the court was ill. Scales turned grey and fell off, people grew thin and weak. Poseidon was enraged. Ursula’s mother, Circe, did whatever she could to help, concocting potions and salves, but every attempt to stop the spread of the disease was useless. The mermaid court was dying.

As Circe rushed around to help people, rumours began to spread. Talks of strange magic: salves that sped the disease along instead of stopping it. The dry-rot of the fins did not seem to touch Circe or her daughters. King Poseidon, still maddened by grief, had banished Circe. When the disease lifted soon after, people’s suspicions seemed to be confirmed. People grew wary of magic. Old friends who had relied on Circe’s wisdom turned her away. She had entreated the king to see reason but was coldly shut out. Circe retreated with her daughters to the deepest part of Atlantis. She raised them in the practice of magic but was wary and careful, keeping their practice secret. Ursula and her sister Morgana had learned how to create healing poultices and simple love charms. They learned how to call on the creatures around them and the strange plants and organisms that could both harm and heal.

In secret, some people still came to their grotto to ask for help. They usually slipped in during the darkest part of night, eyes constantly darting around, skittish and afraid. Circe helped them as best she could. Some even offered them payment but no one stayed for long, fearful of Poseidon’s wrath.

Ursula now saw Triton only from a distance, as he went to and from courtly duties or trained with the troops in the waters around the castle. The bright, golden-haired boy was now pale and serious. His blue eyes now held pain. Ursula watched as he grew taller and his shoulders broadened. The muscles in his arms corded under his skin and the bright blue scales of his tale deepened to a darker blue. She had changed too. Her body had filled out into gentle slopping curves. Her sister Morgana who had stayed slender and sleek, liked to tease her that she looked more like an orca than a squid. Ursula hated how dimply and soft she was. She grew out her hair to hide behind. Her sad, lonely mother would lift her chin however, and tell her she had the most beautiful violet eyes, which lifted her spirits briefly.

**********

Ursula had imagined countless reunions with her old friend… but this was not one of them. She was making a mess of herself. Tears (and maybe some snot, okay?) was floating around her face, bubbling up and gathering in her hair and clinging to Triton’s smooth skin. His large arms wrapped completely around her, making her feel safe but also delicate. He easily dwarfed her, which made her round, chubby body feel strangely tiny. Normally so uncomfortable in her own skin, Triton held her like she was something fragile and precious. She sucked in a shuddering gill-full of water, trying to re-gain her composure. She could hear Triton’s heart beating right up against her ear in the wide, flat expanse of his chest. It’s fast, steady rhythm helped her gradually lift her head. Triton was looking down at her, his face expressionless.

“I…” she tried. “I, um…thanks.”

Triton lets her go. Cold water rushes into where his arms had wrapped around her. Ursula shivers. Her hand reaches up to touch her head. Her scalp aches where Sabine had pulled her hair.

“Sabine and her cronies are assholes.” Triton states flatly. “I will personally make sure they answer for this.”

“No!” Ursula shouts. Maybe a bit too loudly. “I don’t want to cause any problems.”

Triton gazes at her. She can see a muscle in his jaw clench.

“No really” she says placatingly. She fakes a girly, high-pitched laugh. “I mean, I am almost used to it by now.”

Triton’s eyes darken.

“I mean…” she stutters. “I, we…deserved it. I MEAN! Maybe not _me_ personally but…” She falters off into silence.

Triton looks down.

Appalled, Ursula’s tentacles writhe with embarrassment.

“Triton?” She touches his arm gently. He does not look up.

 _My laughing friend._ She thinks, sadly. She wants to hold him, the way he did for her. She wants to make everything better.

“Thank you” she says instead, and turns to leave.

“Hey Ursula?” Hearing him call her name halts her immediately. It feels so familiar and strange at the same time. It sends little shivers all through her body. She turns to him again.

“I…I don’t blame your mom….for what happened. I just want you to know.” His eyes flash up to meet hers. His face is anguished.

“I know.” She says softly.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ursula travels to the palace and bumps into Triton.

Ursula swam the long distance back to her grotto in silence. Her mind was filled with the cruel laughter of Sabine, the terror as the boys swam around her but also, _also_ …Triton’s voice as he whispered in her ear:

" _It’s okay. I’ve got you._ " 

Their grotto sat in the deepest, darkest part of Atlantis. When her mother was cast out of the palace she had moved them to the farthest part of the city; right on the edge of the abyss. Everyday, it felt like they might fall into the deep and silent black-water below them. As it is, light from the surface world barely reached them here. Urusula could feel the familiar temperature drop as she made her way back home by the help of weak, bioluminescent lamps.

When she entered their grotto her mother was weaving something out of bull-kelp while her sister, Morgana, passed her urchin spines to keep the weaving together. Ursula tried to swim to her room as nonchalantly as she could but Morgana had the nose of a shark. She could literally (and figuratively) smell blood. She immediately pounced on Ursula.

“What happened to you?!”

“I, uh…hit my head.” Ursula lied, backing up slowly.

“Fat-chance.” Morgana sneered.

Their mother looked up. “Ursula, dear. Come here.”

Ursula made a face at Morgana but swam forward. She bent her head dutifully under her mother’s long fingers. “Ow,” she protested quietly as her mother felt around her scalp.

Very quietly, her mother asked :“Who did this to you?” Her tone was frightening. Ursula had heard it before. It was the steely control of rage. It was the same deadly quiet voice her mother used to talk about the king.

“N-Nothing! I mean, no one. I- It was just an accident.”

“Who was it Ursula?” Her mother asked again.

From beside them Morgana cackled: “Oh holy clown-shrimp! Want me to kill them for you?”

“Shh Morgana. Don’t talk nonsense.”

“It really was nothing Mother. I’m fine. Really.” Ursula tried to squirm out of her mother’s steely gaze. “I don’t want to blow this out of proportion.” _And get us into even more trouble,_ she thinks silently. Her mother narrows her eyes but says nothing more.

Ursula lets out a sigh of relief. She hastily swims into her room. Before her curtain can sway closed however Morgana comes barging in. In a theatrical whisper her younger sister asks “No but really?! Who was it? Are you going to get revenge?”

“Shhh Morgana! Listen. It was nobody alright? Drop it!”

“Don’t be such a polyp Ursula.” Morgana pouts. “Remember what mom says? We are worth ten of them. We have more power and knowledge in our seventh tentacle than they do in their whole beautiful, dumb, brains.”

“Mom doesn’t say that.”

Morgana sighs: "Well, not exactly, no. But I bet she’s thinking it.”

Ursula turns away.

Morgana tries a different tactic. “If it was me you’d be angry.”

Ursula spins back to her sister. “Shut up Morgana!” The two sisters stare angrily at each other before Ursula cannot help herself. She breaks out of her angry act and grins: “Besides, who says I wasn’t going to seek revenge?”

*****

Ursula is a Certified Professional at sneaking into the Palace. When her and Triton were younger they used to do it all the time: to sneak into meetings they weren’t allowed to attend, to spy on the courtly ladies, to pretend they were warriors in a siege, to hide from Morgana (or in Triton’s case, tutors). She had done it so often that she new exactly which holes in the coral led to which chambers and how to duck around the guards. Which, technically wasn’t that hard. They had been at peace for so long that most of the guards on duty were just for ‘decoration’. The surface world had either forgotten they existed, or simply did not care and the creatures of the deep were now under the strict control of Poseidon.

Ursula ducked behind a pillar as a servant crab scuttled by. Slowly, without trying to disturb the water, she used her tentacles to pull her along down the hallway. Thankfully, she knew exactly where to go.

Ursula peered through the curtain into Sabine’s family chambers. She knew Sabine’s father was a senator at court. A personal chamber in the Palace was reserved for those closest to the king. Ursula gently pulls the curtain aside and enters the lavish chambers. It looks eerily like the ones her family used to inhabit. There is the main, public room, where they could receive guests. Private individual chambers shoot off of it. Unlike the rough coral of the hallway, these rooms are brushed smooth and shine like glossy bone under the shimmering light from the surface coming through a hole in the ceiling. A single moon-snail slowly works its way up the wall, clearing any algae.

Ursula is momentarily halted, her brain short-circuits to the past, of Morgana and her playing on a similar floor as their mother met with clients. _This is not my old house._ Ursula shakes her head to clear it. Their old chambers had been filled with shelves upon shelves of potions, tinctures and salves. This place was bare, meant for business. It was filled with only seating and some old tablets mounted on the wall that said boring things about “law” and “duty.”

Ursula swims up to the moon snail to briefly rub its shell with her finger. “Hey little guy.” It’s probably not the same one that used to live with them…but just in case.

She pulls herself along into a smaller, private chamber. _Jackpot_. This place reeks of teenage girl. The whole thing is filled with glow worms and bright red coral. There is a vanity sitting in the corner and a hammock in the centre of the room. Quietly, Ursula pulls herself closer to the vanity. From the bag slung around her shoulders she pulls out a tiny bottle. She undoes the stopper and pours the contents onto a fish-bone comb left among a bunch of other detritus on the counter. Ursula waves her hands above the comb and mutters the spell quietly. It turns black momentarily but then fades into its white again.

Ursula smiles to herself triumphantly. Looking up, however, she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror and her smile fades. Her round face stares back at her. Slowly, Ursula’s tentacles reach up to pinch the fat in her middle. She imagines Sabine looking into this mirror. Beautiful and confident. Her cold, cruel beauty. Her perfect, gossamer tail and tiny waist. Ursula grimaces and sighs. She thinks (for the 500th time) about the way she felt in Triton’s arms: tiny and delicate. She runs her hands down her sides and tries to feel that again…but it’s no use. The girl staring back at her is a black blob. More like a sea-cucumber than a marlin. Before Ursula turns to leave she decides to steal herself some earrings to make herself feel better.

Back out in the hallway she breathes a sigh of relief. _Safe. Suck it Sabine._ Still quietly, she begins to make her way to the exit when a voice from behind her freezes her in her tracks.

“Up to no good?”

Ursula’s heart stops momentarily and then jumps into hyper-speed. She feels like she might pass out. Before she turns around she already knows whose voice it is.

“Ohmygod Triton! So nice to see you again! I, um…I am here to ah…” She knows he won’t call the guards but her heart still struggles in her chest like a fish in a net.

He looks just as good as always. His blond hair is tousled and he is wearing the golden chestplate of the palace guard. Slowly he crosses his arms which flexes _all_ the muscles. Ursula loses track of her sentence and lamely peters out.

To her astounding relief, he grins. “Paying a little visit to our friend Sabine?” He asks.

Ursula flushes. “I wasn’t!” She hastily tries to pull the bag around to her back.

Triton grins again and swims up to her. “C’mon, sneaking around when court is in session? Perfect time to pull a prank. If I know you at all.”

Ursula meets his blue eyes. He is not accusing her. He, in fact looks…proud? There is a familiar, reckless gleam in his eyes.

She relaxes. She shrugs her shoulders: “Look, if Sabine doesn’t have hair in a week it most _definitely_ was not me.”

Triton leans back. And then, to her utter surprise, he begins to laugh. The sound is loud and boisterous and bounces off the walls of the hallway. Ursula is taken-aback but quickly begins to giggle as she watches Triton looses his shit. He doubles over and wheezes. She maintains some semblance of control up until Triton snorts water through his nose. Then she looses it as well. She leans into him for support until they are in a stupid, loud heap in the hallway.

“Quiet down out there!” A voice shouts from a chamber down the hallway.

Triton and Ursula stop abruptly. With tears in their eyes look at each other in terror. WHICH sets off another round of giggles. Triton pulls her up, and still chortling, leads her by the hand down another hallway.

They make their way through the palace, ducking as anyone comes near. As her giggles die out Ursula realizes that Triton has still not let go of her hand. It feels insanely natural. Like everything else about him his hands are huge. His palms swallow hers.

She follows him through the Palace. They are going in the direction of his private rooms, which would be a great place to hide in the Palace but for some reason this makes her even more nervous. As they near the doors to his rooms however, they hear voices. Triton grabs Ursula’s waist and pulls her into an alcove behind a large urn before the servants can see them.

His broad shoulders barely fit. He knocks the urn gently crouching down but Ursula catches it with her tentacles before it wobbles. She tries not to giggle as he holds as still as possible, scrunched up as small as his large frame allows. He looks a whole lot less intimidating with his shoulders up to his ears. They wait in the semi-darkness for the servants to pass. Ursula becomes very acutely aware of each second that Triton’s arms are around her. She rests her head on his cold chestplate and tries to quiet her breathing. She can feel him breath out water onto the top of her head.

The servants swim a little past them but stop to gossip. Triton lets out a tiny, agonized groan. The sound vibrates in his chest and does weird things to Ursula’s stomach. She shifts her tentacles around to try to give him more room, and ends up wrapping two of them around his waist. He shivers slightly as her tentacles gently slide across his skin. He inhales and holds his breath. Is he grossed out? She does not dare to look up at him right now. Her hyper-sensitive limbs can feel every inch of his skin . She can feel the part on his waist where his scales begin and notes with wonder how seamless the transition is. It is taking everything she has to keep her tentacles still. To keep them from traveling along his body more. She cannot hear the servants past the ringing in her ears. She takes a deep swallow of water and looks up at his face. She means to grimace or smile or _something_. Something to show how awkward or embarrassing this is but his blue eyes are dark and inscrutable. She has no words for the expression on his face.

Her heart sinks. She quickly unwraps her tentacles from him and shifts her weight back.

“I think they’re gone” he whispers.

Ursula shoots out of the hiding space-- not waiting for Triton to untangle himself. _That was too far. I probably grossed him out. Oh my god why did I…_ Her face is burning but she cannot help it. Triton does not look at her as he straightens is chestplate. He also does not take her hand again as they quickly open the doors to his rooms and closes the door behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** The royal prince gets doors for more privacy while everyone else gets curtains.  
> **Their grotto is not the one that Ursula lives in-in the movie. They still live in the city at this point.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triton shows Ursula the secret hidden in his room.

Triton closes the door behind them. Ursula feels the water shift around her as he swims past her. Her hair seems to follow his wake, reaching out towards him.

_I shouldn’t have grabbed him like that. What was I thinking?! HA just making room._ Ursula knew the real reason, deep down. And the way he had shuddered when she had touched him! _He’s so grossed out. Oh my god…_ Ursula bites her lip. Triton swims further into the room. He has still not turned around.

_I’ve ruined everything._ She wishes there was a spell that could turn her into a moon-snail so that she can crawl in her shell and never come back out. _Actually, there might be…_

 _Say something!_ Her brain shouts.

“Well…I have to thank you.” She starts. She pauses to swallow the lump in her throat: “I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in years.” Her voice sounds strange in her head: too high-pitched, too light.

Thankfully though, he turns around.

“I think we _really_ pissed off senator Oranos.” Triton says.

Ursula lets out a breathy laugh of relief. “He’s probably scouring the hallways looking for the two hoodlums who disturbed his lunch.”

To her surprise, Triton reaches up and takes off the buckles of his chestplate. Very carefully he lays the golden plating on a table and flops backwards onto his bed. Ursula tries not to stare as he stretches his arms above his head. Unlike the rest of the palace which has hammocks, Triton’s room boasts a four-poster bed from the surface world. It is made out of ‘wood’ and is covered in ultra soft algae, which are silently and steadily breaking it down. Its impermanence underwater is a decadent sign of wealth.

To distract herself from the flat panes of his chest…his sloping collar bones and the hollow spot in his neck…she decides to wander around the room.

“I haven’t been in here since I was a kid” she notes. A lot has changed. Whereas the younger Triton had collected lobsters and crabs and polyps and snails, now the room was filled with armour and weapons. Ursula absently picks up a net with weights attached.

“Is this how they get you to sit through boring policy meetings?” she teases, stealing a glance over her shoulder. Triton chuckles. Ursula watches his stomach flex. _Goddammit._

Turning back to the wall Ursula closes her eyes…trying to save that image for later.

She wanders over to some shelves built into the walls. A gleaming sphere catches her attention.

“What’s this?”

From behind her she can hear Triton get up and swim closer.

“It’s a globe”. He reaches around her and grabs it from her.

“A what?”

“A type of map that the surface-dwellers use. It shows the world inside a pearl. Look, see the blue parts are the ocean.” He offers it back to her.

Genuinely curious, she turns the sphere in her hands. “Why a pearl? And how come it doesn’t show depth? There is so much _missing_ on this!”

Triton laughs. “I don’t get it either. The surface-dwellers only think the land is important. Look.” He leans in close to her and traces his fingers along lines crisscrossing the colourful land masses. “This is how the surface dwellers divide their realms: into lines drawn on maps. They do not judge by currents or zones at all!”

“Weird.”

“Yah.” Ursula looks again at the highly detailed land. Compared to it, the ocean looks empty and flat--all one shade of blue.

Ursula hands the map back to him. He carefully places it back on the shelf and then turns to her. The light in his eyes is back and he grins mischievously. “Do you want to see something?”

“Of course!” she says. _Like I could say no?_

He swims up to the top of his room. Also unlike the rest of the palace, the royal rooms are completely sealed for better security. There are no skylights. There _is_ however, a very smooth, round sliding door that Triton reveals by slowly pushing a flat plate to the side.

“I don’t remember that being there!” Ursula is indignant. “How come you never showed me?!”

“Because I thought it was boring at the time.” Triton grins. “I only went in here to study so I kind of hated it.” He sticks his hand through the door and his arm bends…

 _Wait. What?_ Ursula’s mind takes a minute to realize that his hand is out of the water. She swims closer. Triton ripples the water, flapping his hand in and out.

“An air pocket?!”

He grins.

“And you never told me because _you thought_ it was _boring_?!” She playfully punches him in the arm. It feels like punching a stalk of bull-kelp.

Triton laughs at her indignation.

“What’s up there?” Ursula sticks her hand into the air pocket wonderingly.

Without waiting for a response, she sticks her head into it and switches to lung-breathing. The room is dark. Around the perimeter of the hole is a ledge. It is just enough for someone to pull themselves up on. Ursula places her hands on the ledge and tries to heave herself up. She grunts. Her body feels like it weighs a million pounds. Her arms slip and she falls back into the hole. The water slaps the sides of the chamber and the sound is deafening. Ursula covers her ears. “Ow.” Triton swims up beside her until his head is also in the air pocket. He rises to her level, his chest lightly skimming along hers.

As close as they are Ursula can’t help but giggle nervously at the way his hair is plastered to his head. The sound bounces around the room: loud and strangely echoey. He grins and ruffles a hand through his hair but bumps her with his elbow.

“Sorry!...sorry. You should see _your_ hair!”

It’s true. Her long tresses are dragging in the water.

“It looks like you have more tentacles!”

“Shutup!” She grins at him. She catches herself looking a little _too_ long at the way the light ripples from below them onto his chest and face…in his eyes.

“I…I um, can’t get up.” She explains.

“Oh right! It’s hard for someone as small as you. _Only_ those who are _very_ _strong_ can move on land.” Triton says, in a mock-serious voice. He turns and heaves himself easily onto the ledge. Ursula watches the muscles on his back ripple and almost accidentally chokes on water when she forgets to breathe into her lungs.

He pulls his tail up until he is kneeling on the ledge. He offers her his hand. Pulling on him feels like pulling an anchor. She then makes an absolute fool of herself getting up, her tentacles thrashing as they ineffectively try to get purchase. Triton laughs as he pulls. She slides in unceremoniously and ends up ramming her head face-first into his shoulder.

“Sorry! Sorry!” She scoots back as quickly as possible and almost falls back into the water. Triton grabs her arm to steady her. She is panting from the exertion but trying to play it cool. Her breathing sounds ridiculously loud in here. Her body sits around her like a blob. _Air is really unflattering_ she thinks, running her hands over her flat hair. She is shocked by how heavy her arms feel out of water.

“So uh, what’s in here?” She runs her hands along the sides of the small chamber. In the dim light she can see that the walls are lined with shelves. Stacked on the shelves are wooden blocks? The air smells strange. Dry and dusty. Triton picks up a block and opens it. The insides rustle open into many leaves.

“Books?!” Ursula exclaims. She picks out one from the shelf and opens it. It feels a lot heavier than she had anticipated. On the inside is a tight black scribble in a language she does not know.

“This is incredible!” She looks over at Triton. Her stomach dips. He was already looking at her, intensely. Watching her reaction.

Embarrassed, she tucks a piece of straggly hair behind her back. She scoffs: “And you didn’t think this was interesting as a kid?!”

He shrugs his shoulders."I had to come in here to read them quietly, to learn about the surface-dwellers. It was incredibly boring."

She gently grabs one of the leaves and flips it back and forth, then holds the book upside down and shakes it, listening to the way it rustles together. She flips it back upright and runs her fingers lightly over the words, causing them to smudge slightly.

“They call it paper.” Triton offers. “And they write on it…with ink.”

She looks up at him sharply. “You’re teasing me again!”

He grins at her but then puts his hand to his chest, over his heart. “No word of a lie Inky, the surface-dwellers love it.”

_Inky. He hasn’t called me that in years._

Ursula squints at him. “You’re making this stuff up.”

He shakes his head and his smile fades. “No. But actually. That _is_ what they use. It’s what they use to write all of their stories and even…here!”

He grabs a book off of the shelf and opens it to a page. On it, is a picture of a woman. She is wearing a dress that spins around her—trapped in silent motion.

“It is even what they draw with.”

Ursula looks at the picture, entranced. The lady’s arms are above her head, her mouth slightly parted. The dress swirls around her legs—her legs! (They look a lot skinnier than Ursula had imagined, she always pictured something stockier to hold up the surface-dwellers.) She can feel Triton sidle closer to her until their arms are touching. He is still holding the book but shifts so that they have it both in front of them.

“She always reminded me of you.”

Ursula furrows her brow and looks up at him. She looks nothing like this!—and will probably never look this slender and graceful in her _life._

He isn’t looking at her though. He lightly traces the outline of the lady’s dress.

“The way it spins out…always reminded me of you.” Triton’s voice is quiet.

_He’s not teasing._

Ursula looks again. The dress _does_ kind of look like her mantle. If she squints hard she can see it.

Triton looks up at her. Ursula’s stomach dips again. His eyes are dark, just like they were out in the hallway. All traces of humour are gone. His face is intensely serious. Ursula’s heart begins to race. He very deliberately closes the book and puts it back on the self. Her arm, where it touches his, burns like its been stung by jellyfish. He turns back towards her and his eyes are almost black. Ursula is transfixed. She cannot move, or look away… or even breathe. Very slowly, Triton reaches up to touch her face. He runs a finger _slowly_ down her cheek. (Ursula feels like she can hear her heartbeat echo in the chamber it is so loud in her ears.) Triton runs his thumb gently over her bottom lip. Ursula closes her eyes as a shiver runs up the length of her spine. She can hear Triton’s breath hitch before he leans in and brushes her lips with his lightly.

Her mind goes blank.

It takes her a brief few seconds to realize that he has leaned back and away. Her eyes flutter open, confused and aroused beyond belief.

His eyes are inscrutable. His expression is haggard. She notes with some satisfaction that his breathing is also shaky.

“Ursula. I…I should have asked. I…”

But she cuts him off by grabbing the back of his neck and kissing him back. He’s surprised only momentarily before grabbing her around the waste and twisting towards her. She crawls into his lap (literally) and wraps her tentacles around him.

Her mind is an animal. She tangles her hands in his hair roughly, tilting his head back. Around him she tenses her many limbs--feeling every inch of his skin. When he breathes out in a shaking gasp, she inhales as if trying to suck the air out of him. He shudders under her and the animal-brain of hers roars in triumph: _Look what I do to him! Its not disgust… It is anticipation._

He grabs the rolls at her waist and she briefly hesitates, feeling as his strong fingers dig into her fleshy side. " _Oh god"_. 

But then he wraps one arm completely around her (completely!) and twines the other up her back to cradle her neck. When he reaches to kiss her again it is tender and without hesitation. 

Something clenches deep in Ursula's stomach. Slowly, almost matching his tenderness, she runs her teeth over his bottom lip. 

Triton shudders and -- _growls._

His arms tighten around her and he presses as close as possible, squishing away all the air that was between them.

Her tentacles have a life of their own. She cannot help the way they chaotically unravel and tighten around his waist, down along his tail, up and around his shoulders… greedily taking in every inch of his alabaster skin. He groans beneath her. Ursula drunkenly tilts her head to the side as he runs his tongue along the length of her neck—licking up the salt that has dried there.

“ _Oh…_ ”

But Triton stiffens under her. His hands stop moving.

Her dizzy brain takes a while to realize Triton has stopped moving. Ursula feels like she is surfacing from dark-water.

“Wh—what is…?”

But Triton puts a warning hand over her lips. She can feel him breathe heavily underneath her- his chest expanding deeply. She pulls back and listens. There is a loud-angry rap at the door to Triton’s rooms.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ursula gets locked in the library.

Ursula’s mind freezes. She was kissing Triton. _The Prince,_ in a secret library above his room. She wasn’t even supposed to be _in_ the castle. She was _kissing!_ The Prince!

Triton flicks his eyes to hers in a silent warning. He smoothly lowers himself into the water, re-entering his room. Ursula pulls her tentacles out of the water just as Triton silently shifts the seal back onto the door below her, plunging the library into total darkness. Despite the echoes in the empty chamber it is hard to hear anything but muffled voices out of the water…and her thundering heart.

The madness that had possessed her as she kissed him, as she had moved along his body like she owned it, was fading. “What the hell?” She asked herself quietly. It was his arms around her. He had kissed her _back!_ But she wasn’t even supposed to be in the castle. What if they were caught? How was she supposed to even leave now? But he had kissed her _first._ Ursula’s thoughts raced as her body cooled off. Her heartbeat slowed even as the voices below continued.

“Why won’t they just leave?” The more Ursula sat there in the darkness the more awkward she felt. He was her friend. Or was…past tense? They hadn’t talked in years and now this? They shouldn’t even be speaking to each other. Ursula laid back on the ledge, pretending like it was the gravity that weighed heavy on her.

The voices continued and then there was a click of the door closing. Ursula steeled herself for Triton’s head to pop up out of the water. What the hell would she say to him? But the door below her stayed shut. Ursula listened harder—focusing her whole attention. If anyone was moving in the room she wouldn’t hear them…unless they put something down? Where was he? She rolled over and tentatively tried the door. Stuck. She put two tentacles on it and suctioned the smooth coral grunting as she tried to shift it away from her. It continued to stubbornly resist. But, what if someone really was down there? What if it wasn’t Triton and she was caught for trespassing? Ursula tried the door again, quieter this time, but it still remained in place.

The darkness she was used to. Her mother took her deep into the dark-waters all the time… it was just the air felt…heavier. Her breathing seemed to get louder in her ears. She tried the door again—by swinging her whole body out and onto the door she attached as many tentacles as she could. Shoving with her arms she tried to push the door open. It shifted but seemed to catch on something. Panting now, Ursula ran her hands over the edge and around the door seam, looking for any sort of catch or mechanism that might have locked it. She choked as she accidentally tried to breathe through her gills, which made her cough loudly into the silence.

_Ohmygod. Ohmygod._

Ursula shoved on the door with everything she had. She was wheezing at this point and her head was starting to pound. The terrible door remained beneath her, locking her into this nightmare. She slumped down onto it. She could hear the water lapping lightly beneath her, mocking her entrapment.

She laughed, a little light headed. She could just hear Morgana’s voice in her head “Died trying to shag a Prince eh sis?” or her mother saying to “not be so blind and foolish”. She was going to probably pass out soon. And then Triton would find her and…what? Swoon? Panic. She had a brief, very self-indulgent vision of him worried about her. Of him picking her up in his arms and tending her why she played the damsel…but that wasn’t who she was.

Ursula pulled herself upright with a grunt. Still panting, she pulled and pushed herself back onto the ledge using the door beneath her. Face-down on the ledge she lay there for a bit, just gulping in air. Her head was actually starting to hurt now. With some effort she pulled herself up. Using her tentacles she began to feel around the shelves, skimming lightly over the spines of the books as she felt up and down, getting a feel for the size and dimensions of the place. Above her was more blackness…with the crushing weight of the ocean settled over….

Ursula pulled herself as upright as she could and stretched her tentacles as far as she could above her. Using her hands she felt along the ceiling of the little library. The shelves ended just above her wrist and there was smooth doomed rock above her. Not the porous coral that the rest of the castle was made of. Ursula thumped it to see how thick and the sound reverberated around her. Wheezing and slightly dizzy, Ursula hit it again, tapping around the edges to see feel the seam where the shelves started. She tapped the rock with a fingernail. Too thick but these shelves?

_Hurry._

She grabbed the books on the top shelf and flung them off. She frantically scratched with her nails into the smooth wood panelling. She felt her nail break but sucked the pain in back through her teeth. She choked again just as she felt a splinter, a sliver of wood chip off near the top. Almost sobbing, she dug her nails into the top of the panel between the joints in the wood and scratched at the nails holding it in place. A single drop of water slid down her fingers. Ursula dug in and heaved with everything she had, pulling the panel towards her with her fingernails. A steady trickle of water began pouring in, sliding down her arms and the books below her.

 _Oh shit the books!_ It was too late. The ones below her were already covered. She pulled again, gasping. Water was pooling on the ledge beneath her but it wouldn’t be enough. There was a ringing in her ears. It was so hard to breathe! Ursula pulled again but it felt more like she was falling backwards….and then water began cascading in. It hit her face and Ursula stumbled backwards, falling into the depression where the door was. Water! Smooth clean water was filling up the chamber from the hole she had made in the shelves. It was already past her waist. Ursula unceremoniously ducked her head under and took a huge gulp through her gills. She stayed that way, doubled over and just took a couple deep breaths. Books floated past her. In the darkness she could feel them bump against her gently.

_Well, there goes Triton’s secret library. He was probably better off not showing it to me. Well…then again, he probably shouldn’t have locked me in._

Honestly. Now that she wasn’t in immediate danger of dying Ursula’s blood began to boil. A small, rational part of her told her he didn’t know. Or hadn’t meant to lock her in, but the throbbing in her fingers matched the pulsing of her head and it made her angry. Ursula sucked the blood off the tips of her ragged fingers and felt around again. The panel that she had ripped off opened up into…another space. She could fit through if she pulled another panel off. Sighing through her nose, she yanked off another shelf, slicing her arm on a jagged piece of wood from the previous wreckage. Fully irritated now, her arm stinging, Ursula pulled herself into the space and finally left the secret library into the open water above the palace.

Ursula glanced back. Triton would probably come looking for her. Or at least, wonder at the wreckage she left behind. She glanced down at her arm, her hands. Took one last deep breath in and swam away from the palace.

***

When Ursula got home her mother was distraught.

“Look at your hands!”

She grabbed Ursula forcefully by the wrist and twisted her arm. Ursula hissed as the slice on her arm pulled the clot apart.

“This is twice you come here bleeding in as many weeks. What happened?”

Her mother’s grip was strong, Ursula squirmed but didn’t look her mother in the eye.

“Nothing…I uh… cut it open harvesting muscles.”

“And your fingers?” Circe's gaze was hard and cold.

“It’s nothing mom, I…”

“I will stand disobedience child. But never lies. This…you have gone…what are you _doing_ to hurt yourself this way?”

Ursula felt the tiniest twinge of guilt. Her mother was angry…but also worried. Morgana peered over her shoulder, for once not teasing.

Ursula met her mother’s gaze. “I went into the palace. I was spying on the nobles and got stuck before I escaped.”

Circe's gills flared at the front of her neck.

“And?”

“And that’s it. I know…I know I shouldn’t have been there. I was…” Ursula gulped. “I was trying to get revenge…for last week. I lied to you about that because I was ashamed. And I’m sorry.”

Circe dropped her hand. “Very well.” She crossed her arms. “And? Last week. What happened then?”

“Nothing mom, just a bit of teasing. I thought I could…I dunno, scare them today that’s all”. Ursula looked at the floor.

Circe reached forward and grabbed both of Ursula’s shoulders gently. “Thank you, for your honesty. You know never to go into the palace. It is…more than just me” she said more quietly. “The king would make an example of you. I also hope you know that you can talk to me. If these kids keep bullying you I can help.”

“Yah, I know. And don’t worry. I won’t _ever_ go back there again.”

Morgana, finally sensing the coast clear chimed in from the back, “ _Scaring_ them?! You could do so much better.”

“Hush Morgana, we are lucky she wasn’t found.” Circe looked Ursula level in the eye. “I hope you scared their scales white my little terror.”

That night, Ursula has a dream she is drowning in the dark water. A golden boy laughs behind the impermeable walls around her. Tentacles, thicker and longer than hers, snake out of the darkness and wrap around her human legs. She sinks deeper and deeper as the darkness swallows her whole.

A few days later, Ursula is swimming out towards the kelp forest again. Trailing behind her limply is the net she will use to catch bass. Ursula likes to set it up between two waving stalks of kelp. She is no good at spearfishing and prefers to set up traps for the fish to swim into, snapping the circumference line taught once they get close enough. The cut on her arm and her ragged fingers have started to scar over thanks to her mother’s tinctures. Glancing idly below her she notes a carefully camouflaged plaice drifting swiftly along the bottom. Sunlight streams in from above, setting the water alight with shafts of light that small organisms float in. Fish dart in among the waving kelp. Ursula smiles softly. The nightmares have kept her up the past few days. But, maybe today, if she stays long enough in the sunlight…she’ll be okay.

She sets up her net and settles in to wait. Grabbing a stalk with two tentacles she lets herself drift with it in the ebb and flow of the water. Dozing, she feels the pull of the strong roots below her and imagines her own tentacles turning green. A single bat ray soars above her. Ursula feels her eyes starting to get heavy. She really should get more sleep. _I wonder if mom has something for that?_

A large bass comes swimming towards her. Ursula does not even let her eyes move although she has snapped completely to attention. Very, very slowly, still waving as if she is part of the kelp, she shifts her grip on the rope. The bass swims closer, almost nibbling at her hair. She could grab it but doesn’t dare move her head.

Very softly, she starts to hum. The tune doesn’t matter as much as the sentiment.

“ _Just part of the scenery. Don’t mind me”_

“ _Come here little fish. Nothing threatening”_

She keeps the humming low, vibrating sound towards the bass. The bass shifts in the water. Ursula varies the tune, making it slower, more soft.

“ _Nothing. I am nothing. Come nibble on me. I am nothing at all.”_

The bass swims closer to her net.

“ _Little fish you are so brave.”_

Still humming, Ursula yanks the net closed. The fish thrashes frantically until Ursula snaps its spine.

She is gutting the fish, clouds of blood bubbling up and around her face--tangling in her hair. Tiny scavengers flit around her, filtering out the precious protein. She has lost herself to the task when she feels a shift in the water. Ursula stops to listen. Last time it was Sabine. If she was back for revenge? Ursula _had_ poisoned her comb.

She stuffs the rest of the fish into the net and straightens.

Ursula thinks about just leaving, or curling up at the base of the kelp to hide, but looks down at her hands--at her scars and ragged nails. 

“Who’s there?” Asking feels like deja-vu and leaves a little pit in her stomach.

“Its…its just me.” And Triton swims out of the kelp, the light dappling his hair and on his chest. Beautiful and perfect.

“Oh.” Is all she can manage. She doesn’t relax.

He still hasn’t looked her in the eyes.

“I uh, thought you might be out here. Well, actually, I was floating around your house for a few days but you never left and, well…I may’ve followed you here and I hope you don’t think that is creepy but I haven’t seen you since…since..”

“Right.” Ursula tightens her lips in a mock smile. “ _Your_ library.” Normally I would offer to pay for repairs but I think a few of those were probably priceless”.

Triton does not smile or chuckle. He only glances up at her face.

“Why?..I thought…” He runs his hand through his shining hair.

Ursula crosses her arms, not giving him the satisfaction of an answer.

“I just thought…I showed that to you. It was something special to me. I just want to know why.”

Ursula shakes her head, anger seeping out of her like it could boil the water around her chest.

“And then we…I…just thought we had…” Triton stumbles off and even blushes.

Ursula feels like she might actually implode. “Clearly, I shouldn’t have been in the palace.” She clips out and stiffly bows. “Your _grace_.” She grits out as she turns to leave.

“No wait! Ursula, please!” Triton grabs her arm.

Ursula hisses in pain and spins away from him tucking her arm into her chest.

“Wait, what happened… did you cut your arm?” Ursula wants to scream at how sincere his concern sounds.

“Its nothing.”

But Triton grabs her hands. “Oh my god your fingers. What the hell?”

“ITS NOTHING!” Ursula shouts. The forest around them goes absolutely silent, only the rustle of the kelp leaves overhead can be heard. Ursula looks at her hands and flexes her fingers.

“How can you be so fucking clueless?”

Triton blinks at her. “Wh…what?”

“You REALLY don’t know? About the lock on the fucking door! I couldn’t _breathe_ Triton and you just…just FORGOT I was up there?! Are you KIDDING ME?!”

She cackles in his bemused perfect face. She knows her face is probably purple by now but cannot help it as her hysteria rises.

She laughs shrilly: “you left me in there, with no air and just LEFT! You were gone for _so fucking long_ and I couldn’t BREATHe. But no! You’re right. You’re right”, she says throwing up her hands. “Your precious books! So SORRY those were destroyed! How sad for you.” Her laughing turns suddenly into tears as her anger crashes around her like a wave.

Ursula turns around, burying her face in her hands as sobs shake her.

“I… what?” She can feel Triton shift behind her. “What do you mean you couldn’t breathe? There is air in there? Or you know…was. You…I mean, you ripped the panels right off the walls. I had to tell someone that an animal was trapped in there.”

Ursula giggles like a maniac between hiccupping sobs.

“And now you’re laughing? I just, don’t get it. Why couldn’t you breathe? Can you just talk to me?” Triton takes a breath, “I think you owe me that much.”

Ursula whips around, her hair fanning out in a large arc around her, all trace of hysteria gone. “I _owe_ you?! No, prince, I don’t owe you anything.” She tightens the rope on her net and prepares to leave again. Triton floats behind her, his hand still outstretched, brow furrowed.

Just a beautiful, pretty, _empty_ head.

“Your hands. You…you literally clawed your way out of there? I was gone for only like…fifteen minutes”

Ursula starts to swim away.

“No!” Triton swims after her, easily keeping pace as she swims as quickly as she can away.

“Sorry that’s not what I meant. I just…” Triton sighs through his nose. “I didn’t know you were so scared. I thought that air…just replenished like water? I actually don’t know how that works. But…I’m, I’m sorry Ursula. I am so sorry.”

Ursula keeps swimming. “How could you not know?!” she spits. “You told me you spent hours up there reading.”

“Yes but the door was always open. I wonder if it has something to do with it being sealed?” Triton reaches for her shoulder but she brushes him away.

He finally stops swimming behind her, “I swear I didn’t know.”

“Well, now you do” Ursula doesn’t even glance behind her as she swims off.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ursula goes to conquer her fear

A few more days pass. Ursula has finally stopped having nightmares thanks to a little magic from Circe. She wishes the same magic could work for her daydreams. She keeps seeing Triton waving in the kelp, rooted to the spot as she swims away. Once or twice, she has thought of the moments in the library…before… but they feel tainted by panic.

To distract herself, she has kept herself busy helping her mother with small and big problems that the various merpeople come into their grotto with. Even though the king has forbidden magic the customers still come, usually during the dark hours and covering their features. They are usually desperate. Circe heals their wounds, heartache, fixes their complexion and sends them back to the city. They are always so _very_ grateful you have _no idea,_ but their generosity ends as soon as the sun dapples the water overhead. Still, the salves, tinctures, lines even fake teeth that they require has kept Ursula’s head focused.

She avoids Morgana’s teasing and searching questions as best as she can but her sister is relentless. She, better than anyone else, knows Ursula’s moods and can sense a weakness. To simply get away from her a bit Ursula has taken to swimming out to the edge of the city—the very ledge that their city stands on. She likes to swim right out above the dark water swirling below her and just float there, until her throat closes and the panic squeezes her gills and she swims back. The dark water has never scared her before but now she recalls the awful nightmares of falling into it, so far and so away from the light, suffocating. So everyday she floats above it, staring into the black abyss that not even light touches. Sometimes she can she the shadows of huge creatures swimming below her, or even the flash of bioluminescence, but she cannot bring herself to descend.

It is one of those days when she hears it, whale-song. She looks up from her contemplation of the blackness to see a family of whales slowly entering the black water. Their massive bodies are silent and graceful as they nose gently into the darkness, hunting the equally massive squid below. In the pitch-black, they sing to each other in gentle hums that throb all the way through Ursula’s spine. She watches them descend until their tails disappear and then, summoning every ounce of courage she has, she follows them.

The first few feet are the worst. The light dims around her. Instead of diving in it is more of like a slow closing. Ursula’s breath becomes shallow and short but she follows the whale-song down. Ashamed, like a child, she closes her eyes and feels the water around her decrease in temperature. Slowly, slowly, chilling her arms and making her hair stand up on end.

“Its just water. You can breathe. Everything is fine.”

By the time she opens her eyes again the whole world around her is blackness. She is disoriented. Can’t tell if she was swimming down or up. The times she travelled this far were usually with her mother, holding tightly to a rope that secured them both to the world above. Circe told her to rely on other senses besides her sight, like the whales did, bouncing their songs around them. But now she realizes with mounting panic that the whales have fallen silent.

Ursula’s breath freezes in her throat. She looks around her but it is like she has fallen blind. She stretches out her hands but cannot see them. She can’t even see her arms. Something brushes her shoulder and she starts away before realizing it is just her hair. She lets out a shaky laugh.

“You’re okay. This is okay.”

The same panic as the library shoots electricity through her veins. Her mother has told her there is no such thing as raw magic but Ursula swears she could summon some now. Every sense, every nerve every hair, is alive and thrumming with her rapid heart.

“Okay.” She starts to swim upwards. Or what she thinks is up? At least the pressure is not increasing? Or is it?

“Okayokayokay.”

She feels the water shift somewhere behind her.

 _Its just the whales._ Even though they would be hunting for hours. Had it already been hours down here? What if she was just swimming along the black water and not up? She began to swim faster. Thrashing her arms to get somewhere, anywhere where she could see.

Something moved over to her right.

Ursula feels the panic burn her chest. While the library had been closed and small she was now in too _much_ water. It was bigger than she could imagine. It was everywhere and she was never going to escape. She was just a tiny fish caught in the net. Something moved again to her right and she almost screamed. She swam as best as she could away in the opposite direction but couldn’t tell honestly which direction she was going. She could be going towards something else, baited by a smaller something towards a bigger something. She was barely breathing now, gasping in ragged breaths of water as she swam and thrashed towards any direction.

Something huge shifted below her, gently brushing her tentacles and Ursula screamed.

It was perhaps the first scream she had ever uttered in her life and she was shocked by how awful it sounded—how ragged and frightened it was. It was immediately swallowed by the darkness around her—no bounces, no echoes, just empty, black water. The thing beneath her cringed away, as if frightened. Ursula screamed again and swam as fast as she could away from it. She kept screaming to try to keep the thing away but it wasn’t just self preservation—she was going to die down here and wanted someone to hear it. She was almost mad with panic when she saw a bright light ahead. Sobbing with relief she clawed her way towards it. The thing below her, emboldened by the new silence shifted towards her again but there was a light! There was the surface!

But…wait…?

The light was coming towards her…too fast for it to be her just swimming towards it. It was also getting brighter but smaller? No. It was charging right _at her._ Spent, confused and terrified Ursula screamed again and closed her eyes against the charging brightness.

And it…zoomed past her…right into the darkness below. It was so bright it illuminated everything it past and it hit… _ohmygod._

Ursula saw the giant squid below her- or a piece of it illuminated in the darkness. Its body was larger than half the palace. Its long tentacles reached slowly into the darkness. The light, only the size of one of its massive eyes, flew towards it, piercing its side and causing the beast to twitch and undulate away. The giant tentacles whipped around and in the darkness Ursula was hit by something that felt like a rock. It sent her spinning end over end into the darkness, making the light and its battle with the squid grow smaller. 

Something had broken in her chest. She could not yet feel the pain but she felt the 'wrongness' of it. She also couldn’t move her left arm. She realized with different panic that she couldn't really breathe--taking in only shallow gulps of water. She felt, with rising hysteria, the pain mount with each breath but still couldn’t take her eyes off the battle below her.

The squid was ineffectively trying to swat the light away but it was too large and slow. The light…it was wielded by someone who swam too fast for the reaching tentacles to grab. The squid ejected a large cloud of ink and Ursula lost sight of everything. The whole world went still again…until Ursula felt a pulse echo through the water. The light could be seen again, on top of the squid--half buried in its mantle. Fractures of power were shooting from the light…from the trident as it shot raw energy into the body of the squid. The giant monster thrashed silently as it combusted from the inside. Another shockwave hit Ursula but she could barely register it…shadows were dancing across her vision, making even the light of the trident flicker. She watched blearily as the squid died thrashing below her. She managed to take one last painful breath as Triton, wielding the trident, grabbed her around the waist and pulled her towards the surface.

*****

When Ursula awoke she wasn’t in the grotto and she wasn’t in the palace. She took a moment to just stare above her at the glowing jellies lining the top of a cave. Their soft blue bodies clustered around the ceiling bumped into each other gently, taking in water and expelling it slowly in lazy squeezes. She took a shaky breath and felt along her left ribs. They felt totally fine. Her breathing didn’t hurt either. Tentatively she tried rotating her left shoulder. Also good… Weird. She could have sworn she was dying in the dark water and had hurt herself. She must have had one doozy of a nightmare. It felt _really_ real. There was a giant squid and Triton….

She started up. Triton was here in the corner holding the trident that had saved her life.

As she sat up he shifted towards her.

“Its okay! Its okay. I’ve healed your ribs-- two cracked-- and a dislocated shoulder.” He starts rambling quickly “I uh, didn’t want to take you to Circe but I just wanted to see if you were going to wake up first and I didn’t know but now that I know I’ll just go…”

Triton moves to get out of the cave, gently brushing away the jellies clustered around the entrance.

“Wait! Triton, wait. Wh- what happened?”

He turns towards her again. He is falsely cheerful as he responds: “Right, so I followed you into the dark water but I am _definitely_ not stalking you. I just noticed that you like to stare into it a lot but then you weren’t anywhere and then I grabbed the trident to follow you and I couldn’t see you and then you screamed and so that is how I found you.” He is rambling and way too cavalier. Ursula notes that he is trembling slightly and his knuckles are white on the shaft of the trident.

“And you fought that squid?”

“Yeah. Wild right? I’ve never done that before, but like, have trained for it and it is _way_ different when you can’t see…”

“Triton.”

“Yeah?”

“Sit down I think you’re about to pass out.”

“Okay.” He docilely sits at the entrance to the cave, facing her, still gripping the trident. She should be in shock too but…she rotates her shoulder again.

“And you _healed_ me?”

“Yeah. I mean, I guess? How do you feel?”

“Fantastic. Better than you look right now.” She offers him a small smile.

“Oh good.” Triton lets out a whoosh of water and his shoulders slump forward. “I still don’t really know how this thing works I just saw you go in and grabbed it. What were you _doing_ anyways?”

Ursula looked down at her tentacles and curled them into herself. “Its nothing…I just, wanted to follow the whales…” she lied lamely.

Triton looks at her searchingly. “You’re not afraid…after…what happened?”

_Beautiful, empty head._

Ursula looks at him, calculating. He did not hesitate to help her. Did not even flinch when he saw how massive that squid was he just, dove in. She takes in an inhale of water.

“I uh, was trying to get over my panic… my fear. Being down there is like being in the library again…I was trying to convince myself I was over it…that the nightmares weren’t real.”

Triton swallows and looks down at his tail, loosening his grip on the trident. For how bright it was before it now just looks a dull hunk of metal. Ursula can’t believe she is sitting in an enclosed space with something that shot raw energy into something the size of four buildings.

“May I?” She asks holding out her hand.

Triton silently passes it to her.

As Ursula reached out to touch the golden trident a shock ran through her fingers. She recoiled.

“Its okay.” Triton encouraged.

She reached out again, this time grabbing firmly around the shaft. The trident hummed to life in her hands. The water around her sizzled. Her whole body felt like it was full of bubbles popping under her skin. The trident began to glow again, not the bright vibrant light like before, but a soft shine that lights up the cave and turns the jellies transluscent. A voice stirs in her head. It feels heavy, like something stirring under dark water, like the pull of the tide.

* _wake….._

_*power…._

Triton was saying something to her but she can no longer hear him. The water is heating up around her and her body surges with power and pleasure. This is what it is like to be strong. This is what it is like to feel _powerful_ if only she could hear the voice and answer it…

* _Ursula…_

Triton grabbed the trident from her hands.

It took a few seconds for Ursula to come back to herself. For a half-second, it feels like she is back in the library again, like something had rudely interrupted the madness that had taken her. She feels like she is swimming through thick coral bloom. Her body and mind feel weak and slow. Triton’s voice comes back to her as if through a large distance.

“What?” Ursula feels as if she is waking from a dream.

“Sorry, should have told you it was pretty strong stuff.”

“Did….I mean, has it ever spoken to you?”

Triton looks at her. “Um…no. I mean, it is just a weapon. Did it talk to _you?_ ”

“No! I mean…maybe?” Triton is looking at her like she had just grown a new tentacle. “No. I guess…it was maybe just the power I felt. I don’t really know _what_ was going on.”

Triton puts the trident down beside him.

“Um, thank you, by the way. You saved my life.”

Triton shrugs. “I guess…I just owed you one.”

Ursula flinches as the familiar words settle into her.

“Sorry” Triton grimaces, “poor choice of words.”

“No, no. Its okay. I was…an asshole to you. _And_ I destroyed your precious books” Ursula smiles, genuinely this time.

Triton’s face falls. He shifts forwards and grabs her hands. “I _truly_ didn’t know. I need you to believe that.” His eyes are open and honest. They glow in the blue light of the jellyfish. “I never would have left you there. I never _should_ have left you there.”

The blue light in the cave makes both of their skin look ghostly. But his hands over hers are rough and calloused. Ursula never truly equated that with being a warrior. Never really thought that this beautiful perfect boy was someone who could, someone who _did_ fight so fiercely. She had watched him train from a distance but had never seen how fast he was. He hadn’t hesitated at all. The sight of him burying the trident into the side of that squid was burned into her memory.

“Were you scared, just now?” She asks.

Triton blinks and drops her hands. He sighs and twists half away. “Yeah. I mean. I’ve fought stuff before but this was different. This wasn’t training and it was so dark and you were screaming…” Ursula winces at the memory of the raw horrible sound coming from her, _how embarrassing._

“And all I could think about was that you were already dead and I…I…”

Ursula hesitates but then lightly brushes her fingers on his forearm. 

“Hey, we’re both okay. Thank god you had that giant glowing stick”.

He chuckles weakly. They sit in silence for a bit. Ursula watches the lights gently undulate across his back and shoulders. Triton stares off in thought.

After a bit of silence he chokes out, “Did you….were you screaming…in _there?”_ His voice cracks on that last word.

“No” she responds quietly. I was trying to save my breath. Plus I didn’t know who would hear me.”

“I don’t know what’s worse. Hearing that above my bed every time I dream now or just listening to the silence”.

Ursula shudders but grabs his face. Mock angrily she asks: “So you’re telling me…that you didn’t remove that fucking door?!”

But instead of laughing Triton shifts and wraps himself around her. “It was my fault. Oh my god I am so sorry. I’ve thought about it every night since. And today when you…oh my god Ursula I thought you were dead.”


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ursula confronts her mother about the trident. Secrets are revealed. Why Ursula and her family have tentacles!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exposition heavy. Ursula gets answers about who she is. Lots of establishing before we get back to the *friends*

Ursula stiffened in his arms. For a second all she can focus on is the feel of him breathing- the rise and fall of his flat chest and the exhale of water near her ear. Memories of the library _before_ come crashing over her. His lips on hers—his arms around her and her limbs freely spooling over the flat panes of his body like they could _own_ him. That moment had been madness—free of thoughts or inhibitions—looking back on it she was embarrassed and appalled at how brazen she was. But here…

She _could_ just rest her head on his shoulder…

…but this was different.

Ursula leaned back gently. Triton felt her shift and practically jumped away from her, his long arms snaking back as if she had burned him.

“I-I’m sorry!” The expression on his face was terror and embarrassment and something else. Softness maybe? Ursula kept her face carefully neutral.

“I shouldn’t---I mean, I can’t assume…” Triton’s voice stuttered out as he shifted back further—as if to move himself as far away as the small cave would allow.

Ursula still didn’t say anything. Oh but she did like to see him flustered. She arched one eyebrow.

“I just—can’t stop thinking about…and then I was so worried and I…” Triton faltered out for a third time running both of his hands through his hair. Ursula remained quiet as Triton stilled. The softness dissolved and a shutter came down over his eyes. He straightened his spine and turned to her—his face carefully neutral. In a voice that was strangely formal he addressed her,

“I am sorry for…for everything. I shouldn’t have locked you in and I shouldn’t have…ah taken _liberties_ with you”. His voice wavered only slightly on the word.

Ursula narrowed her eyes at the shift in tone. That word… was not at all what happened in the library. It felt like an insult to how they had desperately grabbed for each other—how she had clung to him and run her hands through his hair and…

But Triton continued,

“I understand if you do not want to see me again. I will also” he coughed ruefully “I will also stop following you.” A little quieter he added “I won’t bother you again.” That terrible stillness remained on his face as he bowed to her stiffly from the waist and turned his back to her and picked up the trident where it was leaning.

Ursula could not find the words, could not find the proper _emotions_ to respond. Dumbfounded she watched him leave, ducking out the cave entrance into the water beyond.

Should she go after him? What would she say? She owed him her life…didn’t she? The feel of his arms around her—the terrible blackness that haunted her. And now the vision was burned into her memory of Triton on the back of the giant squid, haloed in light as he drove the trident into its flesh, energy crackling under his hands. But also…also that day in the forest “ _Its okay now. I’ve got you”._

Ursula cursed her indecision and swam out of the cave. It opened to the coral shallows. In the dimming light of the evening she could see the lights from the palace winking in the distance. Darkness was just beginning to settle on the kelp forest directly to her left. In what had felt like mere seconds Triton had managed to slip off.

She told herself she was relieved. She hadn’t really known what to say to him anyways.

Ursula hovered a moment in the warm water and flexed her arm, again wondering at the memory of pain in the darkness.

_The Trident- Triton._

Ursula sighed out her nose and began the slow journey home.

****

Ursula ducked under the curtain to her house. Her mother was there, swimming in the grotto’s main room absently biting her thumb. She stilled when she saw Ursula. Something flitted across her mother’s eyes---fear? Relief? But then was snapped closed. Her mother _glared_ at her across the room.

“And where have you been?”

Before Ursula could respond Circe continued

“You know I sent Morgana out to look for you and she also hasn’t returned? Where have you been _all day?_ No one had seen you! I even went up to the Palace Gates Ursula!”

Ursula winced.

“I thought you were in the palace again. I thought you’d been _caught_. What were you _doing?”_ Circe reached out to grab Ursula’s shoulder but something **cracked** between them. An arc of golden light shot from Ursula to her mother, snapping the water. A few bubbles floated in the space between them as Circe blinked, her hand still outstretched.

“The tri…”

Circe’s eyes narrowed into flints of ice. Circe lowered her hand. Her face took on that calm, chilling rage. Without a sound, Circe cracked her arm back and struck Ursula.

Ursula’s head snapped to the side. It was the first time her mother had ever struck her and she was more surprised than hurt. Heat rushed to her face.

“You touched the trident?” It wasn’t so much a question. Circe’s voice sounded like the stillness of black water, icy cold and dark.

Ursula nodded silently.

Circe struck her again and this time Ursula reeled back, her tentacles writhing beneath her as she rocked backwards.

“You went into the palace again after I asked you not to!?”

Ursula, holding her stinging cheek, shook her head vehemently.

“DO NOT lie to me!” Circe shouted. Ursula cowered back. She could almost swear her mother was growing…larger? Her tentacles, longer and more slender than Ursula’s, fanned out around her and thrashed with rage. Her mother’s white hair floated around her head. For the second time today Ursula tasted bitter fear at the back of her throat. But this was her _mother_! She had never seen her so angry. The water around them seemed to shrink. All the world was narrowed into the rage in her mother’s eyes.

“I-I…The trident came to _me._ I swear to you I didn’t go back into the palace.”

Circe narrowed her eyes. “What do you mean it _came_ to you?”

And then, because Ursula was afraid for the second time that day, and exhausted and heartsore, the story all came bursting out of her. About the library (excusing a few details) about the darkness, the squid, and the prince with the golden weapon.

Circe took it all in, the expression on her mother’s face unchanging. Ursula, spent, her cheek stinging, let the silence gather after her words. She stared at her mother wondering when/if her mother would start yelling again, strike her or swim away.

To her surprise, her mother sighed and closed her eyes tightly, as if in pain. When she opened them again her anger was still there but it was tighter, lined with grief.

“I have something I have to tell you. But you need to first promise me that you will never, _never_ speak to the prince ever again. Can you swear to me?”

Something writhed in Ursula’s gut. “ _I’ve got you_. _”_ She could feel his arms around her, the gentleness of his lips, the darkness in his eyes as he leaned towards her…

She nodded mutely to her mother.

Circe closed her eyes again. “There’s a reason we look so different from the rest of the Atlanteans. There is a reason why we have tentacles and they have fins. We are _not mermaids._ ”

Ursula’s heart stopped. She had always assumed it was just her family. But it _was_ just her family wasn’t it? She hadn’t seen anyone else like them but had assumed it was genetics…or…

She had asked her mother _demanded even_ , a very long time ago, why they were different. Circe had brushed it of with something like “ _because you are my daughters”_ and had never addressed it since. It had been her whole life of being different and not knowing why. Constant teasing, stares, and whispers had followed her and her sister…

“Wh—what? I don’t understand.”

“We are not mermaids. We do not come from Atlantis.” Circe paused, seemed to gather herself. “ _I_ did not come from Atlantis.” She stated quietly.

Ursula felt like she was thrust again into the depths of the ocean. The water around her seemed too large, too cold and empty.

“I came from a people beyond Atlantis. The Cephalos. We were magic wielders, long lived and full of wisdom. We were powerful. A bit too much so perhaps. When I left, there, when I fled…” Circe paused.

“We tapped into a magic, a way of harnessing the very life around us, to bend to our whims. We _stole_ energy. And killed. But it made us stronger. We lived longer, we were more healthy. Until of course, the waters around us became empty, dead—stripped of life that we took and took. Starving, we turned on each other…and began to use that same magic _on our own people._ ”

Ursula was holding her breath. She saw bubbles of tears gather in Circe’s eyes.

“I left. At the time I didn’t know I was pregnant. Your father had been killed. I took the only thing left to my family and gave it to Poseidon in exchange for offering me solace.”

“The Trident” Ursula breathed.

“Yes. It has all of my people’s power, magic and wisdom in it. It _is_ a weapon but it is also so much more.”

Ursula shook her head.

Her mother reached out and placed a cool hand on Ursula’s cheek. The same one she had struck earlier. Her mother was crying, the tears floating around her eyelashes and trickling through their hair. But her voice remained steady, as if she had practiced for this very moment.

“It has the ability to control life…and-and destroy it. It could corrupt you. My daughter. My daughters” she corrected. “We are the only ones in this city who can wield its full power.”

Ursula gulped. “It, it uh spoke to me. It knew my name.”

Circe’s hand dropped back to her side. “Yes…it has a sort of intelligence I guess you could say.”

“But Triton…the Prince I mean, and the king?”

Circe’s eyes narrowed. “They cannot hear it. It is either something we built into our blood or it only calls out to magic itself. I do not know.”

Ursula’s mind reeled. “My father?”

“He was a good man. He protested the…the, uh _harvestings._ ” Circe shuddered at the word. Whereas before her mother had seemed to grow, now she shrunk into herself…the skin stretching over her bones, her tentacles wrapping tightly under her.

“What was his name?” Ursula whispered softly. In all her years her mother had never spoken about him, never once mentioned his name. 

“Andras.” Circe shuddered again, her eyes hollowing out and becoming distant. “That is all I can tell you for today…I, should have told you before. I saw the teasing. Saw how they treated you girls but I didn’t…” Circe grabbed Ursula’s shoulders.

“You cannot go near the prince again. One day he will wield the trident. He doesn’t know Ursula. He must _never_ know.”

Ursula nodded and grabbed her mother around the waist. She let herself be pulled into her arms, resting her head on her mother’s collarbone.

“ _One day.”_ Ursula could see Triton, light crackling under his hands as he drove the spear into the squid. In a flash she imagined him older holding the Trident to battles, the light pulsing as it called to her

wake

URSULA 

Morgana pulled the curtains apart just as her mother and Ursula pulled away. Ursula gave her mother a searching look. Circe inhaled sharply, an indescribable look on her face. She ran her hand blearily over her eyes and turned to Morgana.

“Come here child, I have something to tell you.”

******

That night, Ursula could not find sleep. She tossed and turned in her hammock, her tentacles waving in frustrated pulses. “ _He can never know_ ”.

She took some comfort from the fact that at least Morgana was awake as well. She could hear her sister shifting in her own hammock across from her. Ursula turned to her side and propped an arm under her head.

“ _You must promise me to never speak to him again.”_ Her mother had been, _was,_ still afraid. She had given the trident away at the first opportunity. But, Ursula ruefully noted, hadn’t given up her practice or her knowledge of magic. Ursula opened her eyes but it was no use. She could see, over and over again, as if it were printed on her eyes, closed or open, Triton holding the trident, lancing it into the squid, the beautiful golden light eviscerating the creature from the inside.

She imagined her father’s face—tried mapping it to hers and Morgana’s but could not seem to find common features between them. “Andras.” She whispered as loudly as she dared, testing out the taste of his name. And a whole new race of people? It made sense. Not that she doubted her mother, but it now seemed her whole life was suddenly part of a larger story when she had been just casted as ‘weird’ or ‘malformed’ her whole life. Ursula pictured the deep blue scales of Triton’s tail, the soft way it gave into his skin. She felt her own skin, rubbery and smooth up to her chest. It was pudgy and soft, with creases on her stomach and sides but under it was layered with muscles that flexed and eased in minute ways—shifting her eight tentacles around the bottom of the hammock, as sensitive as the pads of her fingers. The top of her mantle could fold down for ‘nursing’ her mother had said (being mammals after all). For no reason whatsoever that made her think of Triton again.

“Stop it” she silently scolded herself. “You can’t see him.”

For her mother sake. The way she had been enraged one moment and then weeping the next. Ursula had never seen such emotion from her. For her sake.

“Besides” she told herself “he won’t seek me out again. Not after today. Not after…”

She flipped onto her back, consistently restless.

He’d been so formal in the cave. Probably expecting her to bend-over backwards forgiving him and ‘thanking’ him for saving her life. She snorted water out her nose.

Morgana shifted and hissed at her “Would you fucking go to sleep already. You’re making me anxious.”

Ursula laughed quietly to herself. Her sister had been furious to see her obviously, after spending all day looking for her, but her mood had changed as Circe had told her everything she had told Ursula. Her sister was not one for ‘quiet reflection’ but it was as close as Morgana got this evening.

Ursula pulled a crude gesture towards her sister in the darkness.

Triton would one day wield the trident. She couldn’t be his friend…couldn’t be his… _Anyways._ She made her mother a promise. But what if Circe was wrong? What if, one day Triton heard the trident speaking to him as well? What if he was corrupted by its power? Ursula chewed her lip. It was all a bit much if she was honest.

Her people, her father, the trident, Triton—those thoughts circled in her head like an whirlpool until the grey light of dawn crept in through the holes in their home and she slept.


End file.
